How to Become a Stay at Home Mom (When it seems Impossible)

If you’ve ever wanted to be a stay at home mom but thought that it was impossible today’s blog post is for you. 

becoming a stay at home mom

I’ve been a stay at home mom for 13 years now. Now before you think I have been able to do that because I live a life of luxury, I will tell you that nothing is further from the truth. Many of those years have been difficult financially but I don’t regret a single one of them.  

That being said, if I could go back to the beginning of my stay-at-home mom journey I would definitely do things differently to make it easier financially. Maybe you have felt like being a stay at home mom is out of your reach but I don’t think it is.

However, I will say that I think our view of being a stay at home mom may need to be a little different then what it was 20, 30 or 40 years ago. It is incredibly difficult to be a stay at home mom and pay all your bills.

There are a few people out there who are able to do it because they have a spouse who has a large enough income to support the family, or they may live in an area that is extremely low cost for living expenses. But for most of us that is not the case.

Living expenses are higher than they’ve ever been and they continue to rise faster than our income is rising. This makes it’s nearly impossible for many of us to live off of just one income.  It isn’t like it was when many of our parents or grandparents stayed home with us and were able to still pay their bills.

And that’s why I think we need to look at what a stay-at-home mom really is. I think we have to re-define the role of a stay-at-home mom. What I mean is, you can be a stay-at-home mom but also still bring in some income in some form.

Technically that would classify you as a work-at-home mom, but I don’t think we should get hung up on the titles.

The point is there is more than one way to be able to be at home with your kids. Let’s talk about how you can do that but before I get into it I want to give a disclaimer.

I realise that not everyone can or wants to be a stay-at-home mom. This post is not to pit working mothers against stay at home mothers. All our situations are unique and only God and us knows what is best in our circumstances. Whether you work inside or outside the home does not make you a good or a bad mother.

There are amazing mothers who work full time and there are amazing mothers who are at home full time with their children. This post is aimed at mothers who wants to stay home but have not been able to figure out how to make a possible.

HOW TO BECOME A STAY-AT-HOME MOM WHEN IT FEELS IMPOSSIBLE

 

WORK FROM HOME

This is what I do. I didn’t always do it this way but about 3 years ago I realised the only way I could continue to stay home was  to bring in some income. After brainstorming and failing on a few other ideas in the past I decided to start a blog which is what you are reading right now.

This blog allows me to set my own hours and I can work around my responsibilities at home. However, there are many other opportunities to work from home. So if blogging is not your thing you can try something different.

Some other ideas are running an in-home daycare, doing before and after school babysitting, freelance writing, and network marketing ( love it or hate it there are many who have made a decent income from home doing this.)

those are just a few ideas. There are many other options.  Check out these 10 legitimate ways you can make money online.

WORK PART-TIME OUTSIDE OF THE HOME

Now, some may say if you work outside the home at all you aren’t a stay-at-home mom.  For the sake of logistics, that might be right, but as I said above, it just isn’t as easy anymore to not bring in any income. 

And while there are many jobs that allow people to work from home these days, not everyone is able to work from home depending on their job and field of study.

Working part-time will allow you to be home more than if you were working full-time.  Also, if you have kids in school you may be able to work around their schedule and only work while they are in school, allowing you to be home whenever they are home.

EMBRACE A FRUGAL LIFE AND CUT COSTS (Ruthlessly)

The third way to make it possible to be a stay-at-home is to cut back on expenses and live a more frugal life.  Now, in high cost living areas many times doing this alone will not be enough, but it will allow you to work less and be able to spend time with your kids without the pressure of needing to make more and more money.

A good place to start is to look at your budget and decide what can go.  Get serious about it and see where you can cut back.  Some bills, like multiple subscriptions for example, may be able to be completely cut from your budget, while other bills, like groceries, and electricity may be able to be cut back with some careful planning and a few changes.  Check out this post on what to cut from your budget.

And if you need some help getting started on living a frugal life, you can read 80 different ways you can do that here.

IF YOU HAVE TWO VEHICLES, CONSIDER GOING DOWN TO ONE

People always have a hard time with this one, and I get it.  I really do.  We were a one car family for 15 years of our 17 year marriage!  We’ve only had two cars in the past year.  And honestly, I imagine we will go back to one in the future.

If you are at home with the kids full-time, chances are you don’t actually need a second vehicle.  Is it convenient?  Sure.  Does it allow you to go wherever you want during the day when your spouse is working?  Definitely.  But is it possible to do without that expense?  You bet. 

And let’s be honest – vehicles are no minor expense!  They eat up a good portion of our budgets.

On days when the kids would have an appointment or we’d want to do something I would drive my husband to work.  It was a hassle because often work was 25 minutes away, but it was worth it because we only did that from time to time so it didn’t even make sense for me to have a second vehicle. 

We could still walk to the store, and walk to the park and library because we lived in town at this point.

MAKE ADJUSTMENTS AND IT CAN ALLOW YOU MORE TIME AT HOME

Depending on your situation, you may be able to be at home full-time, or you may only be able to be there part-time.  However, even if you can decrease your time outside of the home at work by a couple hours a day, it can allow that extra time with your little ones.  

I know it’s so cliche to say, but it really does go fast, and you’ll never look back on that time and wish you didn’t stay home if that’s what you desire.  Like I said above, some of our years were definitely financially hard, and even though if I could go back and do things differently, I would – I still would have stayed home regardless. 

My kids were very young at the time too and they have no recollection of us not having a lot of money.  What they do remember is that I was home.  For me it does mean I had sacrificed climbing up a ladder in any career, but I’d do it all over again because even though not every day is easy, my heart is to be at home and it has been a blessing to be able to do that.

If that is also your desire, consider some of the above changes to become a stay-at-home mom in some capacity. 

 

2 thoughts on “How to Become a Stay at Home Mom (When it seems Impossible)”

  1. An insult to those mothers who stayed home in previous generations.
    To think that we now NEED. a little extra income shows the entitlement of this generation.

    1. I’m sorry you feel that way, but I can assure you it does not come from a place of entitlement. We lived on one income for many years but it just wasn’t sustainable. We had a small, fixer upper old house, one old vehicle that was a clunker, bought everything secondhand and the cheapest groceries we could find, and yet we still were behind on our bills and if we continued that way we would have lost the house. In my province an average house (i’m talking, average – not fancy in anyway) can run you 500,000 dollars. It is practically impossible to even qualify for a mortgage these days in my area on just one income. In the bigger cities it’s even more. Rent prices are no different as they have skyrocketed. Food prices have risen faster than income. I really wish it was possible to live on one income, I really do. I’m not sure where you live, but maybe living expenses are lower in your place of residence. That isn’t the story for everyone and to assume any mom who works only works because she is entitled just isn’t fair in my opinion.

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